f**k!

Maybe its my pedigree, maybe its my underdeveloped vocabulary, or maybe I'm just a big ol' sinner... but I love expletives!

Curse words, bad words, pejoratives, profanity and obscenities really make language fun. I do realize that obscenities are subtractive to our language. I mean, with so many words to describe a situation, why use one of 10 overused profanities and assign it to every type of situation? But that could also be an argument for obscenities- they are malleable in any situation. Hmmm?

Well, for one thing, I think expletives show emphasis. Yes. They f-ing do!

There's also the "bad" element to using curse words. Everyone loves to be bad, right? Break the rules a little? All our lives we are told by authority figures not to curse, so when we finally have control over our words, why not?

I would also argue that using expletives is extremely cathartic. This may be the ultimate reason that tend to love them so. If something terrible happens, you almost always feel better if you shout out quite loudly "Sh**! F**k! Da**it!".

It just feels good

While the cat's away...

So, I'm officially home alone for a couple of days. Jason went on his school camping trip that he goes on every now and then for an Outdoor Education class at his high school. Why anyone would want to go camping with high school kids is beyond me, but whatever floats your boat, right?

Anyway, I'm home alone! It's really fun to be home alone. I get to do all the things that I feel weird about doing when Jason is home like deep condition my hair and walk around with it in for like 20 minutes, make myself extravagant dinners and drink wine alone while looking at magazines, watch 4 episode of Gossip Girl in a row, play dress up in my clothes and pretend to be in Gossip Girl, and let Edie sleep in the bed all night long. For those of us who are quite proficient in our Sex and the City vocabulary, these are called "secret single behaviors". I am not single, nor do I want to be, at all- yuck, but sometimes a girl needs her "me" time.

BUT, as Kevin McCallister learned in Home Alone, being home alone is only fun for, like, a day. Who's going to get the robbers if your all by yourself, Kevin?

Last night, there was a really scary thunder storm and all I could think as Edie and I cuddled in close was "Jason, come home".

trinity withdrawal

I spent my morning scrolling through Carrie and Bekah's Facebook pictures. Tap, Tap, Tap... Oh, how I miss the trinity. I relived many of our adventures through image. Sometimes, I'd pretend like you were there. I'd say "ha ha...Remember that? That was so fun." or "Wow, you look great in that picture." or "Why does my face look stupid in that one?" But you didn't respond, and then I realized that I'd been on Facebook for an hour.

My finger hurts.

Yoga Dog!

So, each morning...well, most mornings, I do my yoga practice before I go off into the dreaded world. It all started when I was marathon training and felt the need to just stretch more. I'd been trying to incorporate a steady yoga routine in my life for... uh..8 years... but just couldn't seem to get my ass out of bed in the mornings, and two or three times a week just wasn't enough at a certain point. So, I started. I just did it! Back in August, I started setting my alarm 30 min. earlier each day, getting up and doing my practice. Most days Edie and Viktor use this as an opportunity to steal the bed and marinate themselves in my sleep juices.

However, on this particular day, Edie thought it was time for her to begin her daily practice as well.

ponytail anxiety

Spring has sprung! Warm weather is here! Which means...ponytails!

I have some apprehension and anxiety surrounding the ponytail. I don't know why. Maybe its because my mom, who only ever told me if I looked 'beautiful' or 'trashy', always told me I look better with my hair down. Maybe I'm remembering the pain of carrying around the weight of a large mass at the back of my head constantly pulling down, ouch. Maybe I'm just worried about looking a little too much like a man. Or, maybe this says something about my deep rooted need not to be tied down or back, rather.

I know that the ponytail can be done well. There are hundreds of millions of thousands of women who may even argue that the ponytail is better than the hair down look, but I just don't know. Of course, I understand the functionality of the ponytail- get hair out of face. Yes, and I employ the ponytail quite often for its purpose. But when it comes to ponytail for styles purpose, I just can't seem to go there.

There are many ways to wear a ponytail- low down and classy, high and sporty, middle and cheerleader, purposefully messy, or dreadfully slicked down. Maybe I just need to keep at it until I find my ponytail niche. That may be my ultimate problem though- Ugh...the thought of having to work at anything that hard makes me exhausted and it seems like a misdirection of energy and care. I may just continue to wear my hair down for eternity. Wild and free. I may even stop brushing it altogether. How do you like that?

race face

Today, I ran a race! Yes, a 1/2 marathon. 13.1 miles for those who don't know. It was a blast.

After stuffing our faces with massive amounts of mediocre "Italian" food at the Olive Garden, Carrie, Jason and I passed out at the Shell Island Resort in Wrightsville Beach, NC. We were only to awaken at 4:30 am wondering if we were ever going to see the mediocre Italian food again before the race began (you know what I mean...). We were then met by Jessica (Jason's little sister, who has recently has jumped aboard the running train) and headed for the start of the race. It was dark. We almost caused a riot by accidentally jumping ahead in the port-a-potty line. And, then...BANG... we were off!

We ran! We talked! And after, woah, we ate A LOT! It was really fun. I think the best part was watching the sun rise while running and chatting with my sister.

We all finished and we all set personal best times for ourselves (official time results can be seen here) and a special shout out goes to Jessica who finished her first half marathon in under her estimated time limit. Go Jess!

Pictured, you will see Carrie (with Jennifer Aniston arms) and I (with creepy cracked out smile) about .30 mile away from finish. Smiling and definitely happy. I've just resolved myself to the fact that no picture of me running will ever look great. All that really matters is that we had a great time and are happy with our accomplishment. Yay!

Oh what a tangled web we weave...

What's the deal with lying? Well, I think there are two types of lies- serious lies and jovial lies. I like the jovial lies. Not the sinister deceitful kind, but the tricking people kind. Are the jovial lies even lies or are they just tricks?

Why is it so fun to tell people things that aren't true in an effort to trick them?

I think for me, the fun thing is the reaction you get from people. The example that comes to mind is from my favorite trick of all tricks. It could be classified as the "made you look" trick.

Here's how it goes:

You and I are out to dinner and we are waiting for the third friend to arrive. I say "Oh, look, there she is!" You turn around, and she's not there! Laughter (from me) ensues. Time passes, we drink, we chat; you've forgotten about the trick. This time I say "Oh, look, ha ha, really this time, there she is!" She's not there. You hate me.*

It's too funny. Am I immature? Am I evil? I don't usually laugh at the expense of others, but...well, this makes me laugh.

More on real lying later...once I figure out why we as humans feel the need to deceive one another and ourselves.

*This trick is most effective on people with Type A personalities- it really gets them going.

I got one!

Look everyone! I got a hula hoop! Jason got it for me for our monthly gift exchange.

Our friend Angel, who lives down the street, makes them...somehow...it's amazing! Now all I have to do is get her to teach me awesome tricks.

Yay!

Look at me go.

a leopard never...

When you think about sayings and what they, well....say, you have to wonder how it came to be. How did a leopard get the reputation of never changing his spots?

Is it true? Can leopards or people change? Do they change?

There are some age old conventional wisdoms that go something like "people never change" or "you can't change someone". But, really? I mean, if it's true then why are we even here? If people never change, then what is the point of religion, music, books, art, drama, psychology, philosophy, sports, or anything...really.

Aren't we all trying to change ourselves in some way? Change our physical appearance, get better at something, elevate our minds, change our career, whatever and etc...

So, maybe we can change superficially, but not the core of our inner being? Or maybe people can't change unless they want to change?

At first thought, I want to agree- yes, of course people never change! We are faced with the cold hard reality of this everyday. Especially, if you are one who makes it their life goal to inform, educate, and essentially change people.

But, from the perspective of a person who wants to change, it seems hopeless to subscribe to the ism that people never change.

But when you think about it- can a leopard become a tiger? Can a person become another person?

stonecutters made them from stone...

So, I'm going to be a little bit musicy for a minute. In an effort not to pigeon hole myself into any blogging pigeon holes, I will write about food, music, clothes, myself and other stuff too. So, today I write about music.

My flavor of the month is Midlake. Yes, I don't really know what to say other than...it's good. You should totally listen to it. All of it. If they come to you, listen, live.

To the tune of these tunes (The album being "The Trials of Vanoccupanther") I've done amazing things! I've co-choreographed award winning contemporary dance routines with Mia Michaels, I've written a sequel to Cormac McCarthy's The Road (now a major motion picture, with soundtrack arranged by yours truly), and I've created an entire life size puppet show utilizing various forms of media.

I know, right?

Its been a long time since an album has completely and totally inspired me in some way, and this one does it. MMM...it just does it. I think this is what they mean when they talk about getting the creative juices flowing....whoever "they" is. So, thank you to Midlake and to my brain and soul for having a collective meeting of the minds. Now, if I could only get inspired to do real things.

The Best Things in Life are Free?

Today, one of my students wrote in his journal "Money makes people happy". As I was perusing the class and checking papers, I come across this student's writing and I say "Really, money makes people happy? But Sergio, you can't buy happiness." So, he says "I know that Ms. Barbee, but you can buy stuff and the stuff makes you happy. Like clothes, cars, video games, houses, and food to make you and your family have full bellies".

Touche, Sergio!

I don't know what's more troubling, the fact that tons of people would agree with Sergio, or the fact that I couldn't really think of anything to say to him.

Yes, shoulda-coulda-woulda.

I might have been fantasizing about a new pair of jeans...

Or maybe I might have said this:

Yes Sergio, money can buy you things. And yes, having these things can make you happy. But the happiness brought by those things is merely temporary. You are always going to want more clothes, cars, video games, houses and food. So, money never really permanently satisfies those wants. True happiness lies in relationships with others, contentment with oneself, and...

I'm still trying to figure out the rest...

Abs!

Yes, as in abdominal muscles.

Not only does one look great in a bikini when they have strong abs, but having strong abs actually has legitimate health benefits.

Strong abs= better posture, stronger legs, better breathing, aided digestion, excellent poos, lowered risk of heart disease and cancer, extra protection during athletic activities, back support, and general life happiness.

Yes, the general life happiness may come from having sick abs, but it still sounds good to me.

So, I have decided to add a daily ab regimen to my yoga practice! You can check out my hot bod in a few months.

Navasana (as demonstrated by teddy above)
&
bicycle style sit ups

I challenge you to do it too!

dyslexia or fruedian interpretation?

So, the other day I was at the gym and I saw this on my way out.

But, to me, it reads "Hug Sale". Before I even have time to think, I think "Wow! That's so nice, they're having a hug sale. I need some of those".

So, my question is: Can I not read?
OR
Do I need hugs?

Yes, I do mix up my right and my left, often. Very very often.

I am also accepting donations in the form of hugs at this time.