Why is Everyone Trying to Sell Me Stuff?

Every time I look on Facebook (which I shouldn't do anyway because Facebook is the devil but I can't seem to stop) another person is advertising another thing that they are selling privately as their new amazing career.  Deals, kickbacks, job flexibility! Somehow everyone is making billions of dollars off this stuff without having to work at all.  Long gone are the days of Mary Kay and Tupperware parties, now you can pretty much get anything you want from these "independent sales representatives" who are your "friends" on Facebook: skincare, vitamins, jewelry, clothing, even sex toys!  I might be crazy, but I don't trust any of it. Not one bit. They all seem like a bunch of pyramid schemes to me.  And the scariest thing is that these aren't just random people trying to sell me this stuff. These are normal people, dare I say "friends", who I thought wouldn't ever be the type to get themselves wrapped up in some kind of pyramid scheme/weird business venture. But, who am I to judge? Maybe they really are making money, maybe the stuff is legit, maybe I need to get in on it myself...

I Never Learn...Or Do I?

When will I ever learn that extremism in any form is just no good? I've mentioned this several times before, most recently when I tried to do a juice cleanse this summer and felt like shit.
Well, this time I got it in my head that I would try to be paleo.

See here. Extremism at it best.

Basically, if you are Paleo you can only eat meat and vegetables. No grains, no alcohol, no sugar, no legumes. Not even rice, you guys.  My plan was to try this way of eating hardcore (i.e.- super strict for real real) for a month, and then return to a more balanced way of approaching food. Well, today is would-be Day 30 and  I can tell you that this whole thing barely lasted a week. I was drinking wine by Day 3, eating rice by Day 10, and I even ate a mini Twix on a particularly stressful day last week circa Day 25.  Normally I am a very healthy eater with the occasional indulgence of a biscuit, a cookie or some mac and cheese, so why would I do this to myself? Maybe it is the thrill of trying to do a new thing. Maybe I like to think I can impose some rigidity in my life. Maybe I like the feeling of breaking the rules, once I stop doing the rigid thing. Or maybe I'm supposed to keep falling off of the metaphorical wagon, so that I eventually learn the lesson that we don't need to be on wagons in the first place.

Like I said, I just never learn. It might even take 2 or 3 more fad "healthy" diet trends for me to remember that I learned this or never learned it. However, I'd like to suppose  that the "not learning" is really a part of the learning process. Trying new things, liking them or not liking them; it's a part of the journey to balance, moderation, and eventually contentment.

We live in a society that promotes extremism in myriad ways: in our jobs, in our play time, in our entertainment, and especially in our consumer habits. We're encouraged to go hard in almost everything that we do. What if instead we were encouraged to cultivate balance?

Juice Cleanse

I've really been into juice lately, so I decided to try a 2-day juice cleanse. The benefits seemed reasonable: giving the digestive system a break, zapping your body with extra vitamins and minerals, detoxing the liver, and being a little more mindful about consumption for a couple of days.

So I got my juice from my favorite juicery here in in Oregon: 

 12 juices, 6 per day...no big deal, right?

Wrong.

Things started out fine:

I was enjoying the juices that I had chosen, taking selfies, and feeling like a real champ. Then, around 4:00 things changed. My head began to hurt and my vision was blurring. All I could think about was all the amazing foods that I wanted to eat: cheeseburgers, Chinese food, egg sandwiches, burritos, and coffee. 

Then, my mind began to play tricks on me. I saw turkey sandwiches dangling from trees and kettle chips scattered all over the ground. I even thought about trying the dog food. Was this shoddy willpower on my part or the symptoms of malnutrition setting in?

I decided to drown my doubts with another juice and a little internet googling sesh. This resulted in me falling down a rabbit hole of articles about juice cleanses. What I found was that juice cleanses may or may not be good for you. Juice may or may not detox your system. Juice may or may not flood your system with an overload of sugar without enough fiber to digest it, causing your body to produce too much insulin and send it into diabetic shock.

I felt like shit. And these articles weren't helping. By 9:00 that night I was forcing down my last juice and ready to call it a day, literally and figuratively. Why do this to myself? Maybe I would feel better after the day 1 one toxin hangover (this is what pro-juice cleanse people call the shitty feeling that you feel, but I think it's just hunger), maybe I have no will power, maybe I need a lesson in self-determination. Or maybe I'm just really smart and know that my body needs balance. Juice cleanse, I quit.

So, here's what I learned from my 2-day 1-day juice cleanse:

1) Juice is good, but food is better
2) Trying to restrict something from your diet (like food) is stupid and psychologically unhealthy
3) You're not exactly cleansing, if you feel like total shit while you're doing it
4) Too much juice is just as bad as too much of anything else
5) Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants. (thanks to Michael Pollan for this one)

Acupuncture

So, for the past week I've been dealing with what I think is a yoga induced over-usage injury in my shoulder and neck.  I finally decided enough was enough and got some acupuncture.

It was my first time, and I wasn't quite sure what to expect.  At first, it was much like getting a massage:  the requisite questions about stress, tension storage areas, and nutrition; laying face down on a massage table in a cold room, someone gentle touching your trigger points, and then OUCH!

"Was that a needle that you just stuck into me"?

Oh, yeah...that's was acupuncture is.

I'll be honest with you, I thought I'd like the treatment much more than I did.  I thought I would be OK with the fact that someone was inserting tiny needles into me, and at first I suppose I was.  But as my body began to sweat profusely (I'm still not sure why this happened, I'm hypothesizing that my body must have gone into some kind of fight or flight mode) and more needles were going into me, some larger that their predecessors, I began to feel a low deep annoying type of pain, a scratching of nails on a chalkboard pain, or someone diddling a nerve in a busted tooth pain.  It was weird.  The doctor left the room, and I tried to concentrate on breathing and relaxing, but all I could think about was a myriad of needle injury possibilities. What if I took too deep of a breath then causing a needle to move, which then leaves me paralyzed or even dead?  Sharp thing are kind of scary.

So, do I feel better?  Well, much of the tension that was associated with the neck/shoulder injury is gone.  So, I guess that's good. The main injury is still there, but methinks it just needs time to heal.  Here's the weird thing:  for the past couple of weeks, my allergies had been gone.  I was going outside again, running, and feeling good.  Then, all of a sudden after the acupuncture, they came back full force.  I'm sneezing, snotting, and eye-watering all over the place all over again.  Not cool. Did something new tree begin to pollinate or did the acupuncture trigger some strange reaction?

Acupuncture.
Would I go back? Never say never, but...
Would I try to find another option first?  Probably
Would I rather get a nice deep massage?  Definitely.

The best analogy I can think of is that it was like watching a scary movie for me.  I just don't like scary movies.  Some people do.  Some people really like being scared.  I hate being scared.  Like...a lot.

And then again, this strange aversion to the whole experience makes me wonder if perhaps I do need indeed need acupuncture.  Sometimes we find ways to obviate the things that we need.

Awakening

How can you buck the system if you are "the man"?

Today I got to thinking about the world and how I want to be a part of it.  I'm not exactly sure of the answer to that question in total yet.  But what I do know is that I don't want to be "normal".  I don't want to go with the grain. I don't want to be a rule follower.  And, I most definitely do not want to be "the man".

I know, I know...systems and rules are put into place to organize people and  minimize chaos.  Well, I'm all for that.  I don't want people running around killing each other and rioting in the streets.  But I also don't want to be a drone. An empty void of a person passing the time by satiating with a myriad of worldly addictions.

You might be thinking...

How did you start thinking about this?
Are you some kind of an anarchist criminal?
What's wrong with you?

Well, I'll tell you.  It all started on my run yesterday.  I was running and feeling truly satisfied.  And wondering why it was hard for people to find satisfaction. The Stones had it right when they said "I can't get no Satisfaction".   I was thinking about satisfaction and how people (myself included) are so numb to being able to tell whether or not they are actually satisfied.  Why can't we get no?

 I think most of us are this way because society is set in a way in which humans are bombarded with distractions.  We have to distract ourselves from the banality.  This is how we become addicted.  Addicted to food.  Addicted to drugs and alcohol.  Addicted to sex.  Addicted to television.  Addicted to shopping. Addicted to exercise.  Addicted to surrounding yourself with people.  These addictions provide temporary satisfaction which we highly evolved 21st century beings have confused for real happiness, or santosha, contentment, if you will.  Our confusion and displacement of contentment allows us to float along through life, through the systems which were set up to contain us, unaware of our own oblivion.

I don't want to be a slave to the distractions anymore.

I hear people around me saying things like "We're all just finding ways to pass the time".  And maybe that is true.  Maybe we all need to find a delicate balance between our spiritual fulfillment/pursuit of contentment and our worldly distractions because we are only human.  And what about things like art, music and literature?  Couldn't these things be considered "distractions".  I don't know the answer.  But I do know that I can't ever hope to find my way to the surface for a breath of fresh air and reality if I continue to be "the man" participating in a system that condones the exertion of some kind of power over others. A system that is based upon power imbalances, control, and oppression is a system that breeds tendency towards a need for diversion and beguilement.

I want to be awake.

Separation of Church and State

Last I checked, Fat Tuesday, Ash Wednesday and the concept of Lent were religious holidays. Right? So, why are we talking about this on the morning announcements in a school?
I'm just sayin'...

I want my MTV!

Remember how awesome MTV used to be? I remember getting home after school and pumping The Grind while eating saltine crackers.



Or staying up late at sleepovers to watch The Real World (the awesome ones) and planning how you were going to live in gorgeous loft apartments with all of your friends.


Or watching Beavis and Butthead when your parents weren't looking.



Or learning the ropes of 90's hip hop from Yo! MTV Raps.


Or laughing your knickers off at the inappropriate sketches of The State.


Or how about just watching music videos? I mean, wasn't that the point of MTV?


So, here's my question: Has MTV fallen drastically in its programming quality since the 90s or did I just grow up? Will the adolescents of today look back with fond nostalgia at Teen Mom and Jersey Shore?

Probably.

Really?

In other meaningful and important news...

Leggings with the slimming power of caffeine?

and world peace.

I wouldn't worry too much if I were you

This looks awfully familiar doesn't it? Just replace the date and you have the posters advertising the recent idea that the rapture/end of the world/apocalypse/second coming of Christ/etc... is happening tomorrow.

Now, I'm not much of a believer in this mumbo-jumbo-saved-souls-rising-into-the-sky-while-the pits-of-hell-open-beneath-us kind of crap; especially when we have no idea of if, when, or how it will actually happen. I mean, even Jesus himself (supposedly) said "But of that day and hour no one knows, not even the angels of heaven, nor the Son, but the Father only" (Matthew 24:36).

I do find it interesting that people are constantly trying to set dates for the damn thing. If we're all going to fly into the sky or burn in hell anyway, what's the use of trying to predict the day that it's going to happen...whoever guesses correctly isn't going to win a jar of jelly beans or anything. Should we be living in constant fear that it's going to happen any day? Minding our P's and Q's just in case of rapture? Probably not. Shouldn't we all be on our best behavior (karmically speaking) anyway, despite the fear of a burning eternity?

Furthermore, we are much more likely to suffer an "end of the world" type situation due to global warming, nuclear war, or some insurmountable natural disaster a la The Road, 2012 or The Day After Tomorrow. And there's definitely no way of predicting that and if one could predict it, it would also be pointless.

So, I hereby grant all of you the right to not be worried about tomorrow, 12/21/2012, or any other predicted apocalyptic due date. I, for one, will be drinking a cold one on the beach tomorrow afternoon and if I am swallowed up into the bowels of hell, then so be it.

Balance

Balance is an integral part of achieving Santosha, my friends. Balance in all arenas of life.

For the past couple of weeks, I've been trying to reach a nice balance with my yoga and my running schedules. It has involved an awful lot of meticulous planning which is fairly uncharacteristic for me. With work and other obligations, it gets hard to make time to do all of the things that one wants to do. I have to think about my week ahead of time and plan the days on which I want to partake in a certain activity. It's been working out just fine, only at the detriment to my spontaneity and whimsy. But I honestly can't think of another alternative.

woe is me.

Some day...

When I was a freshman or sophomore in high school I got the idea that I needed to shave my head or cut it really short and dye it blonde. I don't know what it was; maybe something about feeling like I had control over my appearance or wanting to feel the complete opposite of what I was. But I wanted it...bad. Because of certain powers that be, I was unable to satisfy this desire, and recently I've been thinking about it again. I mean, tons of hot actresses have done it and still look awesome. It seems like there must be something so freeing about it. And, absolutely no upkeep!

I know, I know...don't worry, I'm not going to do it. I just wish that I had satiated this desire when times were simpler. I wish my window of shaving my head had not already passed. Or has it...?

The case of the uncut grass

The school couldn't afford to get the grass cut on the playground. It got very very tall. The students braved the ticks and snakes to find the actual equipment to play upon. Students are not seen here, as the grass is too tall and conceals them. Fights broke out, and even some students went missing within this tall grass.

Today, they finally cut the grass.