Once you get to be "my age" people start to do things. Things like...buy curtains, get new roofs, and worst of all...have babies. To insure that I am not merely feeling the pressure of others my age and their choices, sometimes I like to check in with myself by asking things like:
- Beer or baby? Beer...no question.
- The house is burning down. Do you grab your jeans or your baby? Jeans...again, no question.
- A baby is crying, do you feel sad or annoyed? Annoyed, every time.
- At baby showers, how do you really feel? Happy for person or pitying the person? Sorry, but I think I'm pitying you.
-Someone asks you to hold their baby. How do you feel? Ewe.
- You're out to dinner with your husband, and a couple with a baby walks by. You look at each other and think what? Thank god that is not us!
-How do you feel when you see tiny little shoes and tiny little clothes at the store? I'm usually wondering why they don't make those in my size.
-And finally, at the thought of holding your own child, what are you thinking? I think I just threw up in my mouth a little bit.
- Please note: this is not to say that I have even pondered the thought of baby for me...only wondering if I "should" be thinking that. And I have deduced, that indeed I should not.
Cold? Maybe. Heartless. Don't think so. Immune to cuteness? No way...I have Edith and Viktor for that!
Very funny. I laughed out loud throughout. And I can't imagine you with a baby.....yet.
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