This Year's Pollen Post

I should probably have a special blog just for my posts about pollen, because I legit have posted about pollen every season since I began blogging. In lieu of saying how much I hate pollen (which I do) and how much it is rocking me (which it is), I will just leave these right here as legit representations of how I feel:

Pretty Much...

For when your friends are enjoying the lovely weather and you just want to hide

For when you're tired of your need to avoid pollen dictating your daily routine

For when you try to explain what's going on with your sinues

For that first day in late May when you can actually go outside again

You know you're an adult when...

you prefer dark chocolate M&Ms to the regular kind.

But I still only eat the green ones

Back Home

I've been back home in NC for a week now. Despite the facts that I'm not actually settled in our house yet, I've  been extremely busy, I'm starting a new job at a new school, and I've hardly had time to tell up from down it still feels 100% g-r-e-a-t to be home.

Here's the sunset from the Durham Bulls game on Friday night to prove it:

Makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

The Game of Life

I played Life with Charlote while in Pittsburgh last week and was struck by the amazing/true/misguided/brilliant/insightful/horrifying things that this game teaches our youth about "life".

-spin a wheel and draw a card to decide your career (is it really that random?)

-choose go to college and make more money or end up with vocational job (vocational work isn't so bad, nor is it certain you'll make the big bucks these days with a college education)

-stop at the stop sign to get married (this is a requirement?)

- choose between the family path or the career path (must one choose?)

-land on a spot and sue your opponents for 100,000$ each (let's teach them to show no mercy!)

-buy your dream home, which can only be a mansion, luxury apartment, cape style house, or a delux trailer (bigger is always better, apparently...)

-retire happily in a huge mansion if you are the player with the most money at the end (money=happiness, clearly)

Naturally, I won the game but it was close. It came down to a 20,000$ difference in our final "salaries", so I decided to teach Charlotte a lesson about coming out on top: I gave her 10,000$ so we could both win the game of life and retire happily in the mansion together. 

"See?" I told her, "It doesn't really matter who has the most money. We can still retire together and be happy just hanging out". 

I'm not quite sure the point was made.

Carolina on my Mind

Our most recent NC trip was totally awesome. A wedding, family, friends, coffee, beer, sun, warmth, the best food, Carolina Beach, Durham, Chapel Hill, Carrboro, Hillsborough, Raleigh, Lexington, the lake, disc golf, so many serendipitous run-ins, and just the fullest heart that I ever did have.

I realized it was a great trip and that we're supposed to be there when I didn't even feel the need to touch my phone for a majority of the trip. I didn't want to Facebook, Instagram, Snap Chat, obsessively check my email, or any of the other addictive phone behaviors that I've cultivated. 

Here's a few key shots from our adventures (though I didn't even take that many pictures while I was there because I was just that present most of the time):

Me and Mama downtown Durham style

Jason and his Dad, lake style (ps- unfortunately, I did not get a picture with Jason's mom...sorry, Cathy!)

Driving the boat with Doodle, the not dog

Lil' sister, me, beer, sun

My hottie hubby rocking the NC short shorts!

Making good burgers runs in the Roberts family

A new addition since our last visit: Kegerator!
Complete with one of my favorite beers of all time, Yuengling!

Relaxing on a porch by water, my "happy place"

Best Donuts of All Time: Britt's Donuts, Carolina Beach, NC

Wedding swag

Pre-wedding beer where we serendipitously got to watch the heartfelt first dance from another wedding

Siblings all grown up and friends now

Kat and Adam's first dance...love these two

And a special fox napkin gift.
Thanks, Peggy!
I love foxes.

Sometimes I get sad that I left this place, but then I remember that it took leaving it to realize just how special it is. The lifeblood and soul here are palpable. Now that we have left it for a bit, it will making coming back that much sweeter.

Love your body photo shoot

My yoga studio did a photo shoot to promote the idea that yoga is for every body.

Everybody and every body.

I like this idea since most of the media around yoga shows extremely skinny "fit" people doing advanced postures and when it's not that it's somehow deemed not as legit or not "yoga".  I'm just as guilty as everyone else, I suppose, in thinking this. I mean, I follow these people on instagram and am even inspired by them.  But I like to also keep an open mind about what is and isnt't yoga.

Yoga means union and yoga is everything. So certainly yoga is for everybody and every body need not look the same in a yoga posture. 

Here are a few shots from our photo shoot:

It's a beautiful day

Got a lot behind me and much more ahead, but for now...it's a beautiful day!

Blogging about my blog, learning about life

A nice reminder of what an awesome ESL teacher I was

It's the calm before the storm, I feel. Starting March 31st I will be insanely busy for a 10 week stint. Between teaching a course at UO, supervising student teachers, working part time as an assistant researcher, and teaching yoga who knows when I will have time to even think about how much time I don't have. Aye!

But for now, I'm feeling a brief calm and instead of using my time wisely to prepare for my class, I'm finding myself re-reading old blog entires which in it's own way is very useful for reflection and self-growth. That's the cool thing about having been blogging (relatively) consistently since January 2010.  That's 5 years! A lot has happened in the past five years and it's kinda neat to relive it all through my blog. Some things I read are embarrassing, some hilarious, and some even heart-breaking. 

 I think the greatest lesson to be learned from reading old blog posts is, ironically, contentment (santosha). This idea of contentment is something that I have wrestled with for a long time, hence me naming my blog Santosha. I don't suppose this to be the end of my wrestling, but maybe now I've just been ushered into a new class of wrestling. I've got some insight based on my experiences and how I can now reflect upon what I wrote.

Most importantly, I am amazed at the shift in my happiness or contentment during my time as an ESL Teacher. I started out bright-eyed and bushy tailed, excited about my job and life and somewhere down the line I became disillusioned. I let a desire for more (more money, more education, more degrees, more life experiences, more places to say that I lived in) cloud my vision of just how truly good my situation was. If I remove those desires from the equation, all of which are materialistic or ego-driven (aside from the desire for more life experiences, of course) I can reach the conclusion that I always had everything that I ever needed. Unfortunately, it took giving up those things to realize how truly perfect they were. So, in this sense, I believe it to be impossible for a human to understand contentment unless they have once abused their own understanding of it.  Or like Joni Mitchell said "You don't know what you got till it's gone".  

But, hey, at least now I'm cured of my grass is always greener syndrome.   

Hawaii!

That's right, we're in Hawaii. Here are a few pics from our first 2 days here. Check out Jason's blog for some cool pictures from our big hike yesterday at Olomana. I didn't take many hiking pictures because I was too concerned with not plummeting to my death.

Our chariot:

Jason learns how to work the top of our convertible

I got lei-d:

A Hawaiian thing

Beautiful scenery

On top of a mountain, Kailua below

Sweat in my eyes

New friends, fun/scary/beautiful hike, best day

Jason showing off

under the tree selfie

Gennie Goo and I

Jason tries to shred some gnar

Breakfast on the beach this morning, Acai bowl, yum

Warm ocean, sand, us

Morning beach walk

Stay tuned for more! It's only Day 2!

What I did today

1. Started Packing for Hawaii

Yes, we are going to Hawaii this Friday for a week. The cat is out of the bag. Well, there wasn't really a bag, but a few days ago Jason and I realized that we were going and we hadn't told anyone about it. Our short list of United States that we have not visited is about to go from five to four.

2. Chose a text book for the class I am teaching at U of O in the spring

I'm teaching a class on Multicultural Literacy at University of Oregon this spring term. It's secretly stressing me out because, like...now I'm teaching a college class??? Mostly, it's reminding me of how much I want to be back in a real ESL classroom, with real ESL students. And, why didn't I appreciate it when I had it?

Never the Same Rock: A Guide to 2015

On our New Years Day stroll along the McKenzie River, I couldn't help but be reminded of a saying/story/idea/whatever you want to call it that I've heard a lot. I especially remember being told this ad nauseam at Bikram Yoga Teacher Training.

 It goes something like this:

A rock is never the same rock because every drop of water that passes over it changes it

I think there might be a story that goes along with this idea, something from the Gita, but I can't remember right now. 

Anyway, on our snowy walk I kept thinking about how I'd been on this trail many times and maybe even seen these same river, rocks, trees, etc... but that it was all different every time I'd seen it. 

In this way, we are just like the river rocks or even the river itself, changing and being changing by the things around us. In 2015, I want to remember this. I want to hold it close. Because if we are never the same rock or river or whatever, then every moment is different. Every moment is the first and last of its kind, and therefore should be noticed, even revered.

This is my guide to 2015, and 16 and however many 20-whatevers I get to have after that.

To be funny

There are some basic cultural differences between the East coast and the West coast. Of course, there are the obvious ones like the laid back attitudes vs. more direct, aggressive ones or that sprawling feeling vs. the crowded one. There are also other less palpable differences that one could only understand having lived in both places.

For me, the most stark difference between the East coast and the West coast is the sense of humor. Basically ya'll, I'm not funny here.  I've always considered myself to be a "funny" person, not comedian funny or anything, but funny enough that I bring a laugh to those close to me. Here though, I am not a funny person. No one laughs at my jokes. In fact, most jokes that I crack are received in absolute silence followed by distant sound of crickets chirping. What's up with that?

Aside from the fact that this has completely messed with my sense of self, it also has me very interested in this East coast/West coast cultural dichotomy. Like, what is it about my humor that is lost here? And what is it about the East coast, or more specifically my home, that better equips people to find the humor in my jokes? And on a larger scale, what does this mean about people in general?

Deep thoughts...

Ukulele Goddess

Jason and I are learning to play the ukulele. I find it much easier than playing the guitar, which I briefly started playing when I was 9 and then again at age 20. Both times resulted in my quitting because my fingers were too small. The ukulele is way more manageable. Additionally, it is cute and slightly hip, which supplies the "cool factor".

Learning how to do something new with a loved one is very gratifying. We play. We sing. We drink beer.  It's a great indoor activity for the rainy, Oregon winer ahead.